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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27847558">my anchor, my light</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/comradeartemis/pseuds/comradeartemis'>comradeartemis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, F/F, Love Letters, Pining, Rare Pairings, Yearning, listen I’m just really soft, this is unbelievably self indulgent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:48:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,063</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27847558</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/comradeartemis/pseuds/comradeartemis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Ruby has a little word with her Love before she has to sail away again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Marion Lavorre | Ruby of the Sea/Captain Avantika</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>my anchor, my light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>THIS is so unbelievably self indulgent I’m so sorry but also . I’m in Marion/Avantika rarepair hell . LISTEN I THINK THEY’D BE GOOD TOGETHER OK !!!!!! also I’m GAY !!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p><br/>Marion grasped Avantika’s hand and pulled her up the stairs, up towards the bedrooms of the Lavish Chateau. The path was familiar, the two women had walked these steps countless times before, hurried, unhurried, distracted, focused, but tonight it was simply walking. As they reached the top floor Marion squeezed her hand, a little pulse of connection, and Avantika glanced down, seeing them both intertwined. Marion’s palm, narrow and delicate, her fingers long and manicured, adorned with jewellery and delicate ornamentation. Avantika’s, broad and calloused, scarred and short, but enveloped almost entirely. The sight hit <em>something</em> in her gut, a wash of melting warmth - new, unfamiliar, but <em>nice.</em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bluud gave the pair a curt nod as Marion unlocked her bedroom door, and pulled the both of them inside. Avantika was hit, again, as she was every time, with how gorgeous Marion’s bedroom was. Living at sea all her life had been bliss, the freedom was exhilarating, but the coarse canvas hammocks and meagre storage hadn't lent itself to self indulgence. Even when she was granted the Captain’s Quarters, she could hardly bring herself to make it <em>decadent</em>. She spend money on fine clothes, sure, and could stomach <em>some </em>ornamentation, but Marion’s room made it all seem hollow. Incense smoke filled the space, mixing with fresh sea air and perfume, tangling itself in the draped gauzes that surrounded the bed. The bed, adorned with silk and satin sheets that Avantika wouldn’t have even thought to purchase, almost glowing with iridescence catching in the dusk light. Pillows lay across it, all different shapes and sizes, deep velvet, beaded, fringed, round, square, even one that Avantika was sure was for Marion’s work, was still adorned with layer after layer of ruffles and fringe. The mirrors were all framed with ornate gold and jewels, reflecting the couple right back at them. Avantika couldn’t help but feel that they were <em>good </em>with each other. Not just visually, the contrast, plush silken hips next to a lithe leather-clad waist, but something much deeper, far more tender, that brought back that rush within her.<br/><br/></p>
<p>Something in the back of her mind said <em>love</em>, but she pushed it down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Avantika’s life had only known violence for so long - being a pirate is like that. Love was never a weakness she could take, couldn’t get attached, as it was so often just for an advantage, manipulation, getting her on-side as to avoid the full force of her power and influence. It didn’t work. She never <em>let it</em> work. But it could feel deeply, <em>crushingly</em> lonely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Until Marion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had visited on a whim initially, enjoyed herself thoroughly, and that had been that. But it was only a matter of time till she visited again, and again, and before she realised, she’d become somewhat attached. It was easy to fall in love with Marion Lavorre, she made it easy. Her warm smiles and open arms, charming, suave, deeply beautiful, but far more intelligent than everyone else in the room: not that she’d let them know that, underestimating her was part of her power, so she let it go. That power, that <em>intelligence</em>, drew Avantika in. Marion was a lighthouse, guiding her to safe harbour time and time again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That was where they were now, safe harbour. With the door locked, Avantika felt layers of herself start to relax, lies melt away into the incense smoke, and drift up and out the open window. Marion’s hand had left hers, and the tiefling was lighting candles and lanterns around the room, unhurried, but slowly filling the space with a warm glow. Avantika moved past her, unlatching and pushing open the balcony doors, letting the translucent curtains fall closed behind her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The sea was glass. Crystal glass, sparkling and beautiful. Ships were woven through the tapestry of the docks, hers included, sails down and secured into place, and before them lay the quay of Nicodranas, colourful, bursting with flags and flowers and light and laughter, inns opening their doors for the evening’s activity, and music beginning to drift up from all different directions. Avantika raised her gaze to the sea and sky once more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the dusk light, the sky shone a golden yellow, familiar, comforting. Marion’s arms wrapped round Avantika’s waist.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ll stay with me, yes?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Avantika hesitated, focus still steadily on the sparkling ocean. “That decision is out of my hands, love.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The loop of Marion’s arms tightened. She lay her forehead on the nape of Avantika’s neck and sighed. “Send me a letter as soon as you reach your next port. Until then, forget about it all. Just for tonight. Come to bed,”</p>
<p>Avantika placed her hands over Marion’s, and absentmindedly began to rub comforting circles. “Of course,” she nodded, “anything for you, my light.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>My Anchor,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I know you will not be home for many moons more, and yet I find myself waiting for your ship like the tides. Every dawn I ask for word from the quay, and I only ask if you do the same? Do you long for me the way I do you? Do you check your pillow every morning in hope of seeing me there? My love, I find myself at a loss, and I think part of me wants you to be too. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I dreamt of you last night. I know your dreams can be overwhelming, so I pray you dream of me too. We were together, here, in the dark, by my lantern light. Nobody needed us, or wanted our attention, or requested our presence in the morning. You were here, permanently. I know you still wish to sail, and I’m sure you will, I cannot stop you, but we had so much time love, I only pray you consider it. You looked so beautiful relaxed in silk, without the days ahead bring plotted in your mind. I wanted to stay there forever, with you. I awoke feeling hollow, love. My empty sheets ruined my morning, and I promise I will make you pay when you are next around. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>How is work? I do not like to dwell on the meetings I’m sure you take, so please do not tell me of them. Just assure me you are safe. Lie, if you must. I will see your face again. Do not make me a liar. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Send the sea my love. Safe travels. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Your Light, M</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
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